How can I go on without you?
by Ben Myatt
Summary: SORATO: Whilst Sora lies in a hospital bed, she reflects on the past few months, and the man she loves.
1. Thinking Back

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. But who cares?  
  
HOW CAN I GO ON WITHOUT YOU?  
  
*********************************  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
Thinking back…  
  
**************  
  
Sora Takenouchi lay on the hard hospital mattress, and clutched onto his hand. The pain in her chest had faded now; reduced to a dull throbbing by the drugs they had pumped her full of. She knew what was coming; she knew she didn't have long.  
  
For Yamato Ishida, clutching onto her hands, it seemed as if the world had fallen apart around him. He looked down at the pale, worn figure on the bed, and wondered how it could have ever come to this.  
  
She looked up into his eyes, which, like hers, were filled with tears. she spoke quietly, not knowing what exactly she was saying to him.  
  
"How did we get into this position, huh?"  
  
He grinned, despite himself, and clutched her hand tighter. His tears fell beside her, staining the sheets.  
  
"I don't know. But I know something else…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"The last few months have been the best of my life. No matter what happens, I wouldn't do anything to change them."  
  
He was openly crying now, choking back his sobs.  
  
"But I would give anything to change this…"  
  
He stopped, unable to continue. And put his other hand against the side of her face, holding her cheek in his palm. She coughed, and, still crying as he did so, used a tissue to wipe away the flecks of blood that appeared on her lips. He could see her struggling to take her next breath, and clutched her hand even tighter, and then he relaxed his grip on her palm, not wanting to hurt her. her weakened body lay still, her eyes closed.  
  
"I love you, Sora."  
  
Her eyes fluttered back open again. She waited for him to continue.  
  
"I always have loved you. I don't know what I would do without you in my life."  
  
He moved his left hand away from her cheek, and reached into his pocket. Pulling out the small box, he laid it on the sheet next to her.  
  
"I brought this last week, when it looked like…"  
  
He left the sentence in the air, unable to finish it.  
  
'When it looked like you were going to make it through'  
  
They both knew it. But he didn't want to say it. He couldn't.  
  
"So what's in the box?" she said weakly.  
  
He snapped out of his reverie, and gave her a small, sad smile. Lifting the box, he gently pulled it open.  
  
In the bed, Sora gasped.  
  
The ring sat on the velvet cushion, shining in the bright hospital light. She lifted her hand to touch it, but stopped, just short of the shining jewel.  
  
"Is that…?"  
  
Matt blushed, despite himself.  
  
"Yeah. Sora… will you marry me?"  
  
Her eyes filled up with tears, and she sat up in the bed, while she still could. She cried into her hand.  
  
"Matt… I love you. Yes, if I can do anything else in this world, yes. Nothing would make me happier."  
  
He leant forward, and kissed her gently on the lips. Lifting her left hand gently, he slipped the ring onto her finger. He kissed her again, but they were interrupted as the doctor knocked on the door.  
  
"Mr Ishida? I'm afraid you'll have to leave for a little while. Ms. Takenouchi has to rest."  
  
Matt nodded, and stood to go. Walking to the door, he turned back to look at her.  
  
"I love you."  
  
She smiled radiantly, happily.  
  
"I love you too. Get out of here before I start bawling again."  
  
He grinned, and closed the door behind him.  
  
In the corridor, the grin slipped from Matt's face, and he slumped into one of the rows of chairs lining the hall. His head fell into his palms, and he cried, bawling like a child. He only stopped when a voice broke through the veil of his misery.  
  
"Matt?"  
  
June Motomiya. Davis's sister. He had forgotten that she worked at this hospital.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
He didn't answer immediately, and she sat down next to him. Finally he spoke.  
  
"Sora. She's in there."  
  
He jerked his head at the room over his shoulder. June looked at him in shock, and then she put her arm around his shoulders.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know."  
  
"It's not you're fault. It's not anyone's."  
  
June was silent. Then she asked him,  
  
"What's wrong with her…" he didn't speak. "Sorry, you don't have to answer."  
  
He waved away her apology.  
  
"No, it's okay."  
  
He took a deep breath, gathering his strength.  
  
"Cancer. She's got cancer."  
  
=============================================================  
  
It was later, when the doctor had finished and she was near to sleep, that Sora reflected on her life, and remembered the events of the last few months…  
  
=============================================================  
  
(A/N)  
  
I know this isn't my usual style of writing, but it was just something that came to me. It's also a subject that's close to my heart, because I know what It's like to lose a loved one to cancer,  
  
So, in a way, this is exercising a few ghosts. Please don't hold it against me.  
  
-Ben Myatt. 19/1/2002. 


	2. Wonderwall

Chapter 2:  
  
Wonderwall.  
  
********  
  
(6 months before.)  
  
Matt sat in the corner of Liam's, a drink in his hand, and his head in the clouds. The annual 'battle of the bands' was about to start, and His group was second up. The stage at one end of the bar was raised just a little above the waiting crowd. Tonight, they were only allowed to do cover tracks. The judges needed something to judge AGAINST.  
  
"Is this seat taken?" came a familiar voice from next to him.  
  
Sora slid in next to Matt, her brown hair falling lightly against her shoulders, off setting the pale blue sweater and jeans that she wore. She put her drink on the table, and twisted to look at him.  
  
"When are you on?"  
  
"Straight after the first band. I hate going first."  
  
She gave him an inquisitive look.  
  
"Why?"  
  
He shot her a grin.  
  
"You're facing a fresh crowd. They haven't been listening to music already, and they want something to kick off the evening in style. They have higher expectations of you."  
  
"I have High expectations of you anyway. What songs are you playing?"  
  
He grinned again. Just being around her seemed to lift his spirits, as it always had. Just being around her made him feel like a million dollars.  
  
"Just one cover today. Wonderwall, by Oasis."  
  
"That's one of my favourite songs!"  
  
Matt feigned surprise. He had found that out a week ago, and had been saving this as a surprise.  
  
"Really? How about that."  
  
He felt a pang of regret. Despite all the time they had known each other, he had never worked up the guts to ask Sora out. Maybe… after the show…  
  
The first band came on, and plugged their gear into the amplifiers.  
  
A pumping rock track started resounding around the room. This resulted in the unfortunate result of everyone being half deafened, before Liam Dillon, the Bars owner strode on, and turned off the power.  
  
Matt pulled his hands away from his ears, and as Sora did the same, he got up to go into the back room.  
  
"Good luck. Or do you prefer 'break a leg?'" she asked mischievously.  
  
He laughed, and walked away.  
  
Sora waited with bated breath willing them to get onto the stage. She barely noticed Kari Kamiya slip into the seat next to her.  
  
"You can stop staring now. He's nearly ready."  
  
Sora snapped out of her reverie, and turned to look at the younger woman. Kari smirked at her.  
  
"Look, We all know that you two are crazy about each other. Just ask him out, for gods sakes!"  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"It's not that easy."  
  
"What's so difficult about it?"  
  
Sora just shook her head again, and turned back to the stage as Matt's band came on. As she watches, Matt plugs his guitar into the amp, and sits on the tall stool. The rest of his band settle into their respective positions.  
  
Matt strikes the first chord, and a silence descends over the room.  
  
_______________________  
  
"Today  
  
Is gonna be the day  
  
That there gonna throw it back to you.  
  
By now, you should've somehow  
  
Realised what you gotta do.  
  
I don't believe that anybody  
  
Feels the way I do, about you now…"  
  
_______________________  
  
As he sings, Matt and Sora's eyes meet across the room. A small smile creeps onto his face, a smile that is seen by everyone, but is intended for only one person. A similar smile works it's way across Sora's face.  
  
_______________________  
  
"Backbeat, the word is on the street  
  
That the fire in your heart is out.  
  
I'm sure; you've heard it all before  
  
But you never really had a doubt.  
  
I don't believe that anybody feels  
  
The way I do, about you now."  
  
_______________________  
  
Kari catches that look, smiles, and gets up. She walks back over to the Bar, where Davis is working. Sora's eyes never leave the stage, even though she feels Kari leave.  
  
_______________________  
  
"And all the roads we have to walk are winding,  
  
and all the lights along the way are blinding.  
  
There are many things that I would like to say to you,  
  
But I don't know how…  
  
Because maybe…  
  
Your gonna be the one who saves me?  
  
And after all…  
  
You're my Wonderwall."  
  
_____________________  
  
Sora finally blinks; breaking the spell that was working it's way between them. The smile on her face gets wider. She leaves her seat, and moves into the crowd. Matt loses sight of her in the crush of people.  
  
_____________________  
  
"Today  
  
was gonna be the day?  
  
but they'll never throw it back to you.  
  
By now, you should've somehow  
  
Realised what you gotta do.  
  
I don't believe that anybody  
  
Feels the way I do, about you now…"  
  
_____________________  
  
Then he sees her again, as she appears at the front of the crowd. Looking up at him. He rises from the stool, still singing.  
  
_____________________  
  
"And all the roads we have to walk are winding,  
  
and all the lights along the way are blinding.  
  
There are many things that I would like to say to you,  
  
But I don't know how…  
  
Because maybe…  
  
Your gonna be the one who saves me?  
  
And after all…  
  
You're my Wonderwall."  
  
____________________  
  
He leans close to her. their faces are just inches away from each other.  
  
____________________  
  
"I said maybe…  
  
Your gonna be the one who saves me?  
  
And after all…  
  
You're my Wonderwall."  
  
____________________  
  
Suddenly, he pulls away, as if he can sense that now is not the time. But he is smiling as he does.  
  
__________________  
  
"I said maybe…  
  
Your gonna be the one who saves me?  
  
And after all…  
  
You're my Wonderwall."  
  
__________________  
  
He winds up the song, and puts down his guitar. She is till grinning at him from the front row.  
  
The band leaves the stage, the applause ringing in their ears.  
  
__________________  
  
Sora was sitting back at the same table, when Matt came out of the back room. he sat down next to her, and they both spoke at once.  
  
"Hey, I was thinking…"  
  
"I was wondering…"  
  
They laughed, and Sora motioned for Matt to go first. He stopped laughing, and readied himself.  
  
"Okay. I was wondering if you wanna come out to dinner with me?"  
  
Over at the bar, Kari whispered to Davis.  
  
"Do you think he's…?"  
  
"5 bucks says he's asking her out."  
  
He put the note on the bar in front of her, and watched. Kari placed her own note on top of his.  
  
Back at the table, Sora looked at him suspiciously.  
  
"Are we talking, as friends here? Or…"  
  
Matt shook his head.  
  
"No. I want you to come on a date with me. I like you Sora, I always have. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner."  
  
Her grinned seemed to light up his world.  
  
"Neither do I. Of course I will!"  
  
=============================================================  
  
Back at the bar, Davis lifted the 10 dollars off the bar. He looked at his girlfriend.  
  
"Told ya so."  
  
============================================================  
  
(A/N)  
  
Well, what did you think? It's a change form my usual writing style, and the chapters are going to work this way, flashback – hospital – flashback. The hospital chapters will be fairly short though.  
  
This is the first time I've tried to make a really sad story, so bear with me!  
  
-Ben Myatt.20/1/2002. 


	3. Interlude 1

Chapter 3:  
  
Interlude 1.  
  
********  
  
Matt was at her side again, his hand clasping hers, as she coughed heavily, a red froth bubbling at her lips as she groaned in her unconscious state. But he was no longer alone with her.  
  
Tai sat on the other side of the bed, with Sora's parents. Mrs Takenouchi's makeup was stained, smeared down he face in long rivulets. Tai felt like he was a voyeur, watching a scene that he knew he shouldn't be watching. He looked across the bed at his blond friend.  
  
Could he even begin to guess what Matt was thinking? Could he even begin to guess the turmoil that his friend was going through? The woman he loved was dying in this sterile hospital bed, and Matt was sitting here, watching it happen. The last person he needed around was Tai, who he once had though was the person Sora had cared for.  
  
He stood to leave, wanting to give the group some space. He was the outsider. They needed to be alone. But that wasn't all there was too it.  
  
She was his best friend. She always had been. Sora and Tai had cried together, Laughed together… he couldn't bear to watch her suffer anymore. Not right now.  
  
As he walked through the door, trying to hide his tears, Matt stood to go after him. With one last look at Sora, making sure she was still asleep, he jogged quickly after the brown-haired man. He looked up and down the corridor. He moved off quickly, heading towards the men's room.  
  
=============================================================  
  
Tai stood in front of the basin. Looking down into the swirling water.  
  
Finally, his sorrow overwhelmed him. Hot, salty tears fell into the sink, flooding down his face in an increasing torrent. His head fell forwards, resting into his hands, and hitting his forehead gently against the mirror that was hung over the sink, in front of his face.  
  
How could this happen?  
  
Why to Sora, of all people?  
  
She'd never done a single thing to harm anyone, and now she was lying there, dying, dying from a disease that she had tried so hard to fight. It was eating her inside out.  
  
Her gentle soul, being torn away from her friends and family, a piece at a time.  
  
He looked up at the mirror, and was surprised by the haggard face that looked back at him.  
  
Then his anger overcame him, anger at a world that was taking his best friend away from him. Anger at the doctors who could do nothing to save her.  
  
But most of all, anger at himself, for not being there more often. So often he had relied on Sora, to give him advice, to be a shoulder for him to cry on when he felt down. He had done the same for her, but not in the way she had.  
  
He loved her.  
  
Not in the way Matt did, but just seeing her lying in that sterile white bed…  
  
His Fury welled up inside him.  
  
"SHIT!"  
  
He barely registered the punch. Or the pain as his fist slammed into the polished glass in front of him, shattering the mirror.  
  
The glass shards punched into his knuckles, slicing them, digging deep into his flesh. He didn't pull his hand back. If anything he pressed harder.  
  
"Are you happy now?"  
  
Matt's voice came from the door. When Tai turned to look at his friend, he realised that the way Matt looked in the hospital room was nothing compared to how haggard he looked out of it. Several days' worth of stubble covered his face, the mark of not sleeping or shaving properly.  
  
"Did you hear me, Kamiya? What the hell did you do that for?"  
  
The voice was weary, and sounded older than it had any right to. Slowly, flinching from the sudden realisation of how much it hurt, Tai withdrew his fist from the mirror. He still didn't speak.  
  
"She's awake Tai. She wants to see her best friend. She needs you right now. So do I."  
  
Tai looked up at him.  
  
"How can you do it? How can you sit there day after day, watching her waste away like that?"  
  
Matt slumped against the wall, allowing his head to fall back on his neck.  
  
"I don't know, but I do know that I have to be there for her. I can't…"  
  
His voice tailed off, and Tai could see that he was holding back tears. Matt's head snapped forward suddenly.  
  
"Let's go back to her. I don't want to be away too long." He grinned slightly. "I'd patch your hand up first though."  
  
Tai grinned sheepishly, and wrapped a wad of Tissue around his bleeding knuckles.  
  
"I remember that first date you two went on. You were both so nervous."  
  
"Of course you remember. We were doubling with you and June."  
  
"Oh yeah…"  
  
=============================================================  
  
(A/N)  
  
I'm not writing much now, cos the next chapters gonna be up soon  
  
Ta for all the reviews  
  
-Ben. 


	4. Thankyou

Disclaimer: The song belongs to the Lovely Dido Armstrong. Buy her CD.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Tai's memory.  
  
(Thankyou.)  
  
Tai Kamiya picked up the phone on the second ring.  
  
"Tai Kamiya speaking. Unless this is an exceptionally beautiful woman, I'm hanging up."  
  
There was a laugh down the line.  
  
"Sorry to disappoint you, man. 'Fraid it's only me."  
  
Tai laughed. Matt didn't call him without a good reason, and since he had gotten all the details of the events at the bar from Kari and Davis, he had a good idea of where this was going. His blonde friends voice came back over the line.  
  
"Anyway, I was wondering…"  
  
"You want me and Jun to double-date with you and Sora."  
  
Tai spoke in a deadpan, a no nonsense tone that told Matt that Tai had already known what he was going to ask.  
  
"Okay. Who told you, asshole?"  
  
His voice was filled with good humour. He was just glad it was out in the open.  
  
"You asked her out right in front of my sister. What, did you expect me not to find out?"  
  
Tai laughed.  
  
"Of course we'll go with you! I wouldn't miss this for the world! One condition though."  
  
In his own home, Matt rolled his eyes. He knew what was coming even as he asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your paying, Mr hot-shot Band person."  
  
"Deal. Catch ya later."  
  
"See ya."  
  
=============================================================  
  
_____________  
  
My teas gone cold  
  
I'm wondering why,  
  
1 I got out of bed at all  
  
The morning rain  
  
Clouds up my window,  
  
And I cant see at all.  
  
And even If I could it'd all be grey  
  
But your picture on my wall,  
  
It reminds me that it's not so bad  
  
It's not so bad.  
  
_____________  
  
Tai and Matt sat at the corner table, whilst they waited for the girls to arrive. Jun and Sora had elected to make their own way to the restaurant, giving themselves a chance to talk before they reached their dates for the night.  
  
Matt and Tai had chosen this restaurant as a surprise. It was one of the most exclusive in Odaiba, and what the hell did they have to lose? They were sat in the Piano area, as the player worked through some tunes, from Jazz to classical. There was even a singer tonight.  
  
All very Tie and Collar.  
  
In fact, Tai had the suspicion that the formality of the place was the reason Matt had chosen it in the first place. It wasn't that he wanted to impress Sora with the glitz and Glamour. He knew that he didn't need to do that.  
  
He knew that Tai HATED formal dress.  
  
The pianist moved into a upbeat song, that they didn't recognise. And as he did, the door swung open to reveal…  
  
Two angels, beautiful beyond belief, in shimmering dresses. Sora and June looked around themselves nervously, and made their way across to the boys.  
  
They could hear some of the patrons make whispered comments as they made their way past.  
  
"Who…?"  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Who's the pretty lady, Mommy?"  
  
Finally they were seated next to their dates. Tai kissed June Lightly on the mouth.  
  
__________  
  
I drank too much last night,  
  
Got bills to pay,  
  
My head just feels in pain.  
  
I missed the Bus and  
  
There'll be hell today  
  
I'm late for work again.  
  
And even if I'm there  
  
They'll all imply,  
  
That I might not last the day,  
  
And then you call me, and it's not so bad  
  
2 It's not so bad…  
  
__________  
  
"You look amazing." Whispered Matt.  
  
"Thanks. We made the mistake of letting Mimi pick the dresses."  
  
Sora whispered too. She was still nervous from the glances that she was receiving from the other male patrons. And the looks of envy that she was receiving from the female ones.  
  
They ordered their meals, and as they waited for the food to arrive, Jun and Tai watched their friends talk to each other.  
  
Sora relaxed a little when the food arrived, and fairly soon was laughing along with the rest of them. But there was one face in the room that hadn't turned back to her meal when everyone else had stopped paying attention to Sora.  
  
Chinua Kiala was a petty woman with too much money, a severe amount of self- love, and delusions of grandeur. She believed that her inheritance had been earned, and she had very little patience for those who weren't as well off as her.  
  
She also had her eye on Yamato Ishida.  
  
She was an extremely good-looking woman, about the same age as Sora, and she was constantly with a different man on her arm. She ate them like she ate caviar.  
  
She had thought Matt was going to be her next dish. But this girl…  
  
She saw her opportunity when Sora rose from the table, and went to the women's room. Getting up herself, she followed.  
  
=============================================================  
  
Sora looked at herself in the mirror, and smiled. She was really enjoying herself. But not because of all the attention she was receiving.  
  
Because of Matt.  
  
He was… she couldn't quite describe it. She could feel that there were hidden depths to him.  
  
She barely registered the door swinging open behind her.  
  
The woman who had entered stood to the side of the door, and appeared to be looking into her compact at her makeup.  
  
Sora turned to leave, and was just making her way out of the door when the woman turned, and her foot seemed, accidentally, to slip inside Sora's, sending the auburn haired girl staggering.  
  
"I'm so sorry." Said the woman, with something like a sneer.  
  
"That's alright."  
  
Sora straightened, and gave the woman a small grin, showing that there were no hard feelings. She walked out, and went back to the table.  
  
Matt grinned up at her as she sat down.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
She nodded, and grinned back. They quickly finished their meals, and ordered coffee.  
  
"So, are you enjoying yourself?" asked Matt.  
  
Sora smiled.  
  
"I'm loving every minute. Thankyou for bringing me here."  
  
"Why not? I've got the money to burn, and I wanted to give you the very best."  
  
The smile slipped on her face, for a moment, and she gave him a reflective look.  
  
"Matt, you could have taken me anywhere… hell, you could have taken me too McDonalds, and I would have been happy. Because It would have been with you."  
  
___________  
  
And I,  
  
Want to thankyou  
  
For giving me the best day  
  
Of my life.  
  
And oh,  
  
Just to be with you,  
  
Is having the best day  
  
Of my life.  
  
____________  
  
Matt didn't speak. He just smiled. Looking deep into her eyes, he could see her soul, laid there for him to see. She felt the same way as him, he was sure. She lo…  
  
"Yamato? You haven't introduced me to your friend?"  
  
Shit.  
  
He came out of his own thoughts, and looked up at the figure that stood behind Sora.  
  
"I didn't realise we were that well acquainted, Ms Kiala."  
  
He didn't hide the annoyance in his tone. He couldn't stand her. Chinua Kiala, the girl who thought the sun, moon and stars revolved around her. Sora turned in her seat, and a look of surprise crossed her face as she recognised the woman from the bathroom. She recovered quickly, and held out her hand.  
  
"Sora Takenouchi."  
  
Kiala took the offered palm, gave it the quickest of shakes, then let it drop. She ignored Sora completely.  
  
"Why Matt, you have very good taste. How about dancing with the queen now?"  
  
Matt shook his head slowly.  
  
"I don't think so Chinua, In case you haven't noticed," he placed his hand over Sora's on the table. "I'm here with someone already."  
  
Kiala looked at Sora with Disdain.  
  
"That can be solved. Get out."  
  
Sora looked up at the woman in disbelief.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You heard me. We don't want your kind here."  
  
Matt stood.  
  
"I said, she's here with me."  
  
Kiala looked at the blonde man. A small smile flickered at the corner of her mouth.  
  
"Fine. Then let her prove she belongs. Let her pay for the meal."  
  
She snorted in disgust.  
  
"I bet she can't even cover the coffee."  
  
Sora stood. A tear was at the corner of her eye.  
  
"What is your problem? Have I done anything to hurt you?"  
  
"My problem is that you're not good enough to be here. And I thought I told you to get out!"  
  
She grabbed Sora's arm and yanked her forward. She stumbled forward, and slipped, falling onto the floor. Matt pushed past her, and tried to get to her. But before he could, she had gotten up, and run out of the room. Kiala whispered in his ear.  
  
"Forget her. Come and be with someone who deserves you."  
  
Matt looked at her, and she fell back. His eyes were like cold steel, seeming to bury into her head.  
  
"You stay the hell away from me. I don't want to see you again. Ever."  
  
He pushed past the crowd of onlookers, and rushed out after Sora.  
  
Kiala turned back to the table, just in time to be sent reeling by Jun's palm. The slap had been well timed, as she fell against the piano. She looked up to see a waiter standing over her.  
  
"Call the police! That woman," she pointed at Jun, "Assaulted me!"  
  
The waiter looked at her dispassionately, then looked at the other patrons.  
  
"Did anyone else see this alleged 'Assault'?" he asked.  
  
No one spoke. The waiter reached down and pulled her roughly to her feet.  
  
"May I suggest ma'am, that you leave and not come back. You're no longer welcome here."  
  
She looked around her, and walked out, close to tears.  
  
=============================================================  
  
Matt looked through the rain, searching for Sora. His Tie had come loose, and fallen away, in a gutter back behind him somewhere.  
  
There!  
  
There she was! Walking slowly away, her dress clinging to her body in the soaking downpour.  
  
"Sora!"  
  
She didn't stop, but just carried on walking. He ran to catch up with her, and put a hand on her shoulder. He slowly turned her towards him, and looked into her face.  
  
Her makeup had been smudged by the rain, and by the tears that were rolling down her face. Suddenly he couldn't think of anything to say. As it was, she was the first one to speak. She had to shout to be heard over the rain.  
  
"How can I compare, Matt? How can I compare with someone like her? She's got money, looks and style… What can I do to be equal of that?"  
  
"Sora…"  
  
"Matt… I can't do this. We live in separate worlds, you in that one, and me in mine. Never the twain shall meet."  
  
She turned to walk away again, but he grabbed her arm, and pulled her back.  
  
"Sora, you are worth a million of her. I don't need all that! Like you said, anywhere would be heaven, as long as it's with you!"  
  
____________  
  
Push the door,  
  
I'm home at last,  
  
And I'm soaking through and through.  
  
Then you handed me a towel,  
  
And all I see is you.  
  
And even if my house fell down now,  
  
I wouldn't have a clue.  
  
Because you're near me.  
  
____________  
  
He pulled a tissue out of his pocket, and gently wiped away her smudged makeup.  
  
"You don't need all that. You're beautiful all the time."  
  
He smiled.  
  
"Sora, I…"  
  
He was cut off by her sneeze. He suddenly came back to himself, feeling the rain on his back. He took off his jacket, and wrapped it around her shoulders.  
  
"I'd better get you home."  
  
She smiled up at him  
  
"Yes, you'd better. Before my Dad decides I shouldn't see you again."  
  
____________  
  
And I,  
  
Want to thankyou  
  
For giving me the best day  
  
Of my life.  
  
And oh,  
  
Just to be with you,  
  
Is having the best day  
  
Of my life.  
  
____________  
  
He pulled the car too a stop at the curb outside her house, and she stepped out. He got out of his side, and walked her to the door.  
  
"I'm sorry about tonight." He said quietly.  
  
"For what? I was with you." She replied.  
  
She turned her key in the lock, and stepped into the dry of her home. She turned to look at him.  
  
"I'll see you around, Matt."  
  
On impulse, she leaned forward, and lightly brushed her lips against his. By the time he recovered from the surprise, she had closed the door. A broad smile leapt across his features, as he turned and got into his car. He drove away, still smiling.  
  
Sora watched him go from the window. When the car's lights had faded into the distance, she turned away. and grinned in the darkness of her home.  
  
__________  
  
And I,  
  
Want to thankyou  
  
For giving me the best day  
  
Of my life.  
  
And oh,  
  
Just to be with you,  
  
Is having the best day  
  
Of my life.  
  
____________  
  
=============================================================  
  
(A/N)  
  
Davis: Okay Ben, so why ANOTHER format change?  
  
Ben: It's very simple. I decided to make all of the memories different peoples to give different perspectives, and I decided to make them all songfics 'cos people tend to associate memories with music.  
  
Davis: And?  
  
Ben: *grins sheepishly* It gives me an excuse to make a bundle of crappy songfics. Now, what do we want the nice people to do?  
  
Davis: we want them to send in artwork, please nice people! Anything involving this fic or some of Ben's other Digimon fics, so we can make a really cool website!  
  
Ben: Good boy. Now say goodbye Davis.  
  
Davis: Goodbye Davis.  
  
Ben: Riiiiiiiiiiiight. 


	5. Interlude 2

Chapter 5.  
  
Interlude 2.  
  
********  
  
Matt looked into the doctor's face, trying to discern the meaning behind his words.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean what I said. She can go home."  
  
Matt sighed.  
  
"So… does that mean she's improving?"  
  
The hope in his voice could not be mistaken. But the silence that met his hopeful statement caused his features to fall, his head to bow. Finally the doctor replied.  
  
"No."  
  
He sighed.  
  
"It's just that there's nothing more we can do for her. She's gone too far for her condition to improve."  
  
Matt looked up at the man.  
  
"There must be something…!"  
  
The doctor shook his head sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry, but there is just nothing left! We've tried everything! Even chemo is having no effect. The tumour just has too great a hold. Maybe if we'd found out sooner…"  
  
Matt slumped in his seat. Sora's father placed a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"There was nothing you could have done Matt. There was nothing anyone could have done."  
  
Matt flinched away from his touch.  
  
"I should have figured out that there was something wrong. That first time she fainted, I should have known. I should have done something."  
  
Tears started to leak from his closed eyelids. He cuffed them away, angrily. He couldn't let her see him like this.  
  
He had to be strong. For her.  
  
He felt the hand placed on his shoulder again, and turned to look into Mr Takenouchi's eyes.  
  
"I'm okay. I'm okay."  
  
Sora's father nodded.  
  
"I'll got get the car. You go and tell her the good news."  
  
The two men stood, looked at each other briefly, in silence, and then walked out of the room.  
  
=============================================================  
  
Sora heard the gentle knock at the door, and looked up from her book as Matt came in. the blonde man sat down in the seat beside her and looked at her, a grin on his face.  
  
"I've got a surprise for you."  
  
She smiled back at him, her buoyant face seeming to light up the room.  
  
"Well, don't keep me in suspense!"  
  
"You're allowed to go home. Your dad's gone to get the car."  
  
Her grin got even broader, and she got out of bed.  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's blow this joint!"  
  
He left her to get changed, and as he left the room, the smile slipped from his face, replaced with a grim, sad look.  
  
He waited, until she came out, her bald head covered by the same hat that she had worn all those years in the digital world.  
  
"Sora! What are you doing out of bed?!?"  
  
Jun Motomiya strode down the corridor towards them; her nurses uniform a light shade of pastel blue. Sora stammered.  
  
"I… the doctor said I could go home."  
  
Jun grinned slyly.  
  
"Maybe, but medical policy says that you ain't allowed to walk around. Jimmy!"  
  
She called to an orderly who was just finishing up down the corridor. Jimmy looked up and came over.  
  
"Yeah, Jun?"  
  
"Fetch Ms. Takenouchi a wheelchair."  
  
The orderly caught the look on Sora's face, grinned at Jun and strolled off to a stack of the chairs at the end of the hall. Sora leaned close to Jun.  
  
"I hate you, and I'm going to kill you."  
  
Jun grinned back at her.  
  
"Take your best shot sweetie. Look, I'm off duty now, how about I bring your medication and stuff round with you, save you some time?"  
  
Sora nodded, and Jun went to collect the pills, coming back alongside Jimmy the orderly, who was pushing the chair. Sora took one look at it and shook her head.  
  
"No way. I'm not being pushed around like some baby."  
  
"You are, or I can't let you leave."  
  
Jun spoke severely. Then she glared at her friend.  
  
"Now SIT DOWN, before I do you an injury."  
  
Sora sat down.  
  
Jun motioned for Jimmy to walk ahead of them, pushing her chair, while she fell back to talk with Matt. Jimmy obeyed, but first he turned to look at the nurse.  
  
"You Really have a way with people, you know that?"  
  
He didn't wait for an answer, and started to push the sick girl down the corridor. Matt and Jun followed behind.  
  
"So, why is the doctor releasing her? Has her condition improved?"  
  
Matt didn't reply. His silence was response enough. Jun cuffed her foot against the floor in frustration.  
  
"Shit. Have you told her?"  
  
Matt shook his head.  
  
"I couldn't bring myself too. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to tell her that she's being released because there's nothing more they can do for her?"  
  
He shook his head again.  
  
"I just cant do it. Not alone."  
  
She looked sideways at him.  
  
"You listen to me, Yamato. If she hasn't figured it out, she will soon, and I think it should come from you, not some doctor or nurse." She shrugged. "not even from me. She trusts you, and loves you, more than anything."  
  
She sighed, and pushed a stray strand of hair away from her face.  
  
"Look, if it helps, I'll ask for permission to be her homecare nurse. It might be better if it's a friendly face."  
  
He smiled sadly.  
  
"Thanks. I'd like that a lot."  
  
They walked out of the front entrance, to where Mr Takenouchi's people carrier waited. Jimmy helped Sora into her seat, then folded the chair and placed it in the back. He gave them a grin, and walked away. Although Matt noticed that he stopped smiling as he went. He got in beside her, and Jun leaned in through the door.  
  
"I'll stop by later with your medication. If you need any help…" she handed Sora a card. "That's my contact numbers. Always ready."  
  
"Thanks. I'll see you later."  
  
She closed the door, and watched as the vehicle rolled away. she sighed, then went in to ask for the permission to homecare Sora. She knew it would be granted, but the paperwork had to be done.  
  
And then, unexpectedly, her mind flashed back to an Icy day in January 2010. The start of this year.  
  
=============================================================  
  
(A/N)  
  
I'm gonna have to take a while over the next chapter, cos I still have to think about what's gonna happen in it. Like the other memories, it'll be a songfic, and although I know what songs I'm gonna use for certain chapters, I've had the thought that if you so desire, you can E-mail me with a song to use. Don't post it in the reviews. Cos I like getting e-mails. It gives me a warm feeling inside.  
  
Another thing, my website is back up! The link is in my profile, so please check it out, cos it's got a load of stuff on it. Well. Some stuff.  
  
Also, PLEASE DO ME ARTWORK!!!! I WANT ARTWORK!!! DON'T MAKE ME HUNT YOU DOWN AND FORCE YOU TO DO DRAWINGS FOR IT!!!!  
  
C'ya  
  
-Ben Myatt. 2/2/2002 (God, that's a cool date!) 


	6. Eternity

Disclaimer: The song belongs to the almighty Robbie Williams.  
  
Chapter 6:  
  
Jun's memory.  
  
(Eternity.)  
  
********  
  
Sora and Matt walked through the frosty sunshine, hand in hand, kicking the golden-brown leaves in front of them as they went. The bare, crystallised trees above them glowed as the suns rays caught them, through the dappled clouds. They were wrapped up against the cold, but they were smiling.  
  
From the distance, Tai and Jun watched them. The blonde boy and the brunette girl, golden people on a golden day.  
  
_______________  
  
Close your eyes so you don't see them,  
  
They don't need to see you cry.  
  
I can't promise I will heal you,  
  
But if you want to I will try.  
  
_______________  
  
"What do you think?" Jun asked Tai.  
  
"I think they'll last. It took them long enough to get together, I don't think they'll break up anytime soon."  
  
Jun smiled.  
  
"That's what I think too. Tai?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm glad you're here with me. I really like being around you."  
  
He turned and grinned at her.  
  
"You don't have to say a thing, Jun I'm glad I'm here with you, too."  
  
She leant forward and kissed him.  
  
=============================================================  
  
Matt and Sora glanced at their friends, Then at each other. They laughed, mutual grins spreading across their faces.  
  
"We've got to stop doing that. I know, they are cute together." Said Matt.  
  
"How do you do that? Do you read my thoughts or something?"  
  
Sora asked, amusement creeping into her voice.  
  
"Not usually. It makes my head hurt." Matt laughed again.  
  
She punched him lightly on the arm. Despite the fact that they had been going out for a while, they had still only had that one, brief kiss. She glanced at him, and saw him looking at her in a strange way. She stepped closer to him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I was just thinking how beautiful you look."  
  
She punched him again.  
  
"Flattery will get you nowhere mister."  
  
He took a step closer to her this time. He was very close now.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
he leant forward, and gently pressed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes, and lost herself into his embrace.  
  
The pulled back quickly as a cough interrupted them.  
  
______________  
  
I sing a summer serenade,  
  
The past is done,  
  
We've been betrayed, it's true.  
  
-------------------------______________  
  
Gabumon and Biyomon were standing there, looking at them with amused expressions on their faces. Sora blushed. She hadn't expected their company on this little walk. Matt just grinned, and wrapped his arm around her waist. She rested her head on his shoulder, ignoring the little snigger that came from the two Digimon.  
  
Suddenly she felt very tired, her legs rubbery. She slipped in his grasp, and he looked down at her in surprise. Everything seemed to blur, her vision tunnelling. She was aware of Jun and Tai sprinting towards them across the leaves. Then she knew no more.  
  
"What happened?" Tai asked Matt.  
  
The blonde man looked up at his friend. There was panic in his eyes as Jun knelt down beside Sora.  
  
"I don't know! She just passed out!"  
  
Jun placed her ear against Sora's lips. She was still breathing. The brown-haired girl pulled out her mobile phone. She quickly dialled the hospital and requested an ambulance.  
  
"What's wrong with her?"  
  
Matt asked. The panic was starting to seep into his voice now. Jun shook her head.  
  
"I don't know, but the ambulance is coming. She needs to get to the hospital."  
  
=============================================================  
  
______________  
  
Someone said the truth will out,  
  
I believe,  
  
Without a doubt,  
  
In you.  
  
______________  
  
Her eyes fluttered open, and she was momentarily disorientated by the bright lights, so different from the golden sunshine that she had last seen.  
  
She sat up, and her head ached as she did. Looking around, she didn't recognise the room she was in. the stiff mattress beneath her creaked as she got up.  
  
She was in a hospital.  
  
She had been kissing Matt, and then they had noticed the Digimon, then...?  
  
She couldn't remember. She must have passed out.  
  
______________  
  
You were there   
  
for summer dreaming,  
  
and you gave me what I need.  
  
And I hope you find your freedom,  
  
For eternity,  
  
For eternity.  
  
______________  
  
She looked up as Matt entered the room, followed by...  
  
"Mom? Dad?"  
  
Her parents sat down beside her bed, and Matt sat on the other side. Her mother's face was stained with tears.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Her father shook his head, and looked up as a doctor entered the room. His face was serious, and she felt a sudden sense of foreboding.  
  
"What...Is...Wrong?" she said again.  
  
The doctor stood at the end of her bed, and looked at her.  
  
"You passed out, Ms. Takenouchi. We have determined why, and..."  
  
The doctor looked like he was visibly steeling himself to speak.  
  
"I'm afraid your condition is serious."  
  
She spoke quietly.  
  
"What is wrong with me?"  
  
The doctor looked away.  
  
"We've performed a variety of tests, and the results are all the same. I cant see what more we..."  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?"  
  
Sora's yell caused Matt's head to lift from its bowed position. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and looked deep into her brown eyes. He still couldn't bring himself to speak. So the doctor did it instead.  
  
"Cancer. We have established that you have Cancer."  
  
_________________  
  
Yesterday, when we were walking,  
  
We talked about your mum, and dad.  
  
What they did that mad you happy,  
  
What they did that made you sad.  
  
_________________  
  
Her mind seemed to go numb. She felt detached, like an observer. She didn't hear a word as the doctor explained her condition, even though she felt herself absorbing the information.  
  
Mr Takenouchi looked up at Matt.  
  
"Can you leave please?"  
  
Matt looked at the older man in surprise.  
  
"But I... I want to stay."  
  
Sora's father stood.  
  
"This isn't your concern. Please leave. Now."  
  
She looked up at him.  
  
"Dad..."  
  
"No. This is our business. You belong with your family. He has no place here."  
  
Matt stood.  
  
"Fine. I'll see you, Sora."  
  
"Matt, you don't have to go."  
  
He turned to look at her, blinking back tears.  
  
"No, he's right. You need some time with them."  
  
He opened the door, and walked out.  
  
________________  
  
We sat and watched the sun go down,  
  
Picked a star before we lost,  
  
The moon.  
  
Youth is wasted on the young,  
  
Before you know it's come and gone,  
  
Too soon.  
  
________________  
  
He sat down heavily in one of the corridor seats, and cradled his head in his hands. How could this happen. Why now? Why to her?  
  
What had she ever done to hurt anyone?  
  
________________  
  
Cos you were there  
  
For summer dreaming,  
  
And you gave me what I need.  
  
And I hope you find your freedom,  
  
For eternity,  
  
Eternity.  
  
________________  
  
The door to the room opened, and he looked up, wiping away his tears. Mr Takenouchi looked down at him, a sad smile on his face. He sat down next to the blonde boy.  
  
"The doctors say that she has to stay here. Her mother and myself are going home. We're gonna give you two a little time alone."  
  
Matt nodded.  
  
"Thankyou."  
  
"How do you feel about my daughter?"  
  
The question was so sudden that Matt was startled for a moment. Mr Takenouchi was staring fixedly at him, with those eyes that were so like her's. Deep, brown, honest eyes.  
  
He decided that the truth was the best answer.  
  
"I love her. I think I always have. I don't know what I would do without her. I just can't imagine a world like that."  
  
The older man looked at him, and the small smile widened a fraction.  
  
"That's what I thought. But have you told her?"  
  
Matt shook his head, just as Mrs Takenouchi came out of the room. Her husband stopped the door from closing.  
  
"Now's you're chance. Tell her."  
  
Matt looked at him one more time, and then went through the open door into the room. Mr Takenouchi pulled it gently shut behind him.  
  
______________  
  
Cos you were there  
  
For summer dreaming,  
  
And you are a friend indeed.  
  
And I hope you find your freedom,  
  
For eternity,  
  
Eternity.  
  
______________  
  
Matt walked to the side of the bed, and sat down. Sora looked at him inquisitively.  
  
"What does dad want you to tell me?"  
  
Instead of answering immediately, he leaned forward and kissed her.  
  
"Sora, I..."  
  
She put a finger up against his lips.  
  
"I know, Matt. I love you too."  
  
He grinned, weakly.  
  
"Did you read my thoughts or something?"  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"No. It makes my head hurt."  
  
He kissed her again. And the hugged her tight.  
  
"I don't want to lose you."  
  
"You won't. not ever."  
  
______________  
  
Cos you were there  
  
For summer dreaming,  
  
And you are a friend indeed.  
  
And I know you'll find your freedom,  
  
Eventually,  
  
For eternity.  
  
______________  
  
=============================================================  
  
(A/N)  
  
Another week, another chapter. Like I said on my other Digimon fic, I'm now going to attempt to post a new one every Friday, but I'll update my website every Thursday! And after this chapter, they're ALL going to be Songfics, cos we're out of the memories section now.  
  
So, if you want me to do a chapter to a certain song, e-mail me, and I try to find it and see if I can use it. Any ideas are welcome.  
  
Also... SEND ME ARTWORK! DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU!  
  
-Ben Myatt.  
  
- 1 - 


	7. Never had a dream come true

Disclaimer: Digimon belongs to whoever it belongs to. The song belongs to S-Club 7.

Chapter 7:

Never had a dream come true.

************************

Sora stared at the ceiling of her bedroom. She was in familiar surroundings, but she still felt alienated, exhausted. The only thing that kept her going was Matt. He visited daily, a lifeline.

She looked down at the ring on her finger. It was a simple one, just a golden band with a jewel at the top. She smiled, and raised herself into a sitting position. Next to her, Jun stirred in her seat. Her friend opened her eyes.

"Are you okay? I must have dozed off."

"It's okay. You've been strung out."

A wry grin crossed Jun's face.

"Hmm. Don't worry. I'm a light sleeper. It wont happen again."

"I said it was okay, didn't I?"

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Jun looked at the girl in the bed.

"That'll be Matt. I'll leave you two alone. Holler if you need anything." 

As Matt came in, she slid out of the door behind him.

********

_Everybody's got something,_

_They had to leave behind._

_One regret from yesterday_

_That just seems to grow with time._

********

He sat down next to her. And took her hand in his.

"Hey."

"Hey. What's up?"

He shook his head silently. He kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"Your parents have said I can take you for a walk. Well, wheel, as the case may be."

She laughed. She hated the wheelchair, but she loved walking with him, it was the only way she got out of the house. She stood, and went over to the wardrobe. He left her alone as she got changed.

"Going out?" asked Jun.

Matt nodded, and unfolded the wheelchair.

"Don't be too long. The doctor's coming for her check-up in an hour."

Matt's smile slipped.

"I know. I think I can probably guess what he's going to say as well. And I think you know too."

Jun's eyes were downcast. She gazed at the floor as if she wanted it to swallow her up.

" I just keep thinking, there must have been something we could have done. Something we've missed."

There were tears in her eyes now. And, on impulse, Matt hugged her.

"Hey, there was nothing you or anyone else could have done. It's not you fault."

Jun pulled away, and smiled sadly.

"I know. And that's the worst thing."

********

_There's no use looking back or wondering, _

_How it could be now or might have been_

_All this I know and still I can't find ways to let you go._

_********_

Sora emerged from the room behind them, and a smile crept across Matt's face, lighting up his features. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was. Her face held a buoyancy that seemed to clear the room. Even Jun, who had until a moment ago been close to tears, couldn't repress a smile at Sora's indomitable spirit.

Matt placed his hand on the shoulders of the chair, and she sat. 

Jun watched as they moved out of the door. Then she sat on the chair behind her, and placed her head in her hands.

=============================================================

They walked through the park, the leaves crunching beneath the wheels of the chair. Sora relaxed back, and looked up at Matt's face.

"Why do I get the feeling your enjoying this?" she asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, there's probably hundreds of ways you could spend this time. I know that your band hasn't seen much of you lately."

"It's more important that I'm here. They know that."

"Why is it so important?"

The question was quiet, but he heard it anyway. He stopped, and walked round to the front of the chair. Kneeling down in front of her, his blonde hair was swept back by the wind. She looked into his eyes, deep into the very core of his soul.

"You know why. Sora, I love you more than anything else in this world. I can't face not being with you. More than anything else, I want to be around you for the rest of my life."

He sighed.

"Anywhere is heaven, as long as I'm with you."

********

_I never had a dream come true,_

_Till the day that I found you,_

_Even though I pretend that I've moved on,_

_You'll always be my baby._

_I never found the words to say,_

_You're the one I think about each day,_

_And I know no matter where life takes me to,_

_A part of me will always be with you._

_********_

She put a hand up to the side of his face, and he leant his cheek against it.

"We know that can't happen, Matt…"

He turned his face away.

"Look at me." she said, her voice sad.

He didn't turn back to her. His body shook.

"Matt, Just look at me!"

He turned to her, his face covered in tears.

"Don't cry. Please Matt… Just hold me."

He hugged her close. She clenched onto him with all the strength that remained in her body.

"How am I supposed to go on, Sora? How can I go on without you?"

"Your strong, Matt, stronger than you know. I couldn't have got through these past couple of weeks without you."

"No, I'm not. I couldn't bear to live without you."

She pulled back, and looked deep into his eyes again. She tried to smile, through her own tears.

"You wont. I'll always be with you." She pressed her hand against his heart, feeling it beat beneath her palm. "Right here."

She kissed him then, pressing her lips hard against his. he broke away, and the tears were still running down his face.

"I love you, Yamato Ishida."

"I love you to, Sora Takenouchi."

Suddenly, she felt weak. He vision swam, and tiredness overcame her.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Take me home, Matt. I've got to get ready for the doctor."

He wheeled the chair away, heading for the house.

=============================================================

********

_Somewhere in my memory,_

_I've lost all sense of time._

_And tomorrow can never be,_

Cos yesterday is all that fills my mind. 

********

Sora was back in the bed, coughing hard. The doctor and Jun stood beside her, helping her to breath.

Outside the room, Matt stood with Mr and Mrs Takenouchi, waiting anxiously. Finally, the doctor emerged.

"She hasn't got long. You can go in now."

Sora's parents went in first. They knew that Matt and Sora would want to be alone.

Matt stood there for what seemed like an eternity. The doctor put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head.

"There was nothing you could have done."

He looked up at the other man. And there were tears in both their eyes.

"But Thankyou for trying."

The doctor stood there.

"She just took a sudden downswing, and I didn't try hard enough. I've never…"

He left the sentence hanging in the air. 

"If you ever need to talk… here's my card. I know what it feels like, believe me."

Matt took the card, and put it in his pocket. He looked up as Tai rushed through the door.

"Is she…?"

Matt shook his head.

"She's still here. You can come in with me."

Mr and Mrs Takenouchi emerged from the door; their faces stained, and walked over to them. They hugged both of them, and then indicated the door.

"Go on. She's waiting."

=============================================================

********

_There's no use looking back or wondering, _

_How it could be now or might have been_

_All this I know and still I can't find ways to let you go._

_I never had a dream come true,_

_Till the day that I found you,_

_Even though I pretend that I've moved on,_

_You'll always be my baby._

_I never found the words to say,_

_You're the one I think about each day,_

_And I know no matter where life takes me to,_

_A part of me will always be with you._

_********_

Sora's eyes were closed, but as they sat down, she slowly opened them. He face was pale, and Jun, who had been standing beside her, came and sat next to Tai, burying her face in his shoulder. Muffling her sobs.

"Hey guys." Her voice was croaky, rattling slightly.

"Hey, Sora." Tai said.

He tried to smile, but his facial muscles didn't seem to be able to work. Tears clouded his vision. Matt didn't speak at all.

"Don't cry, Tai."

She raised her hand off of the bed, and Tai gripped it, squeezing hard.

"You two are so good together." She said.

Jun raised her head, and looked down at her. She put her hand over Tai's, on top of Sora's.

"Don't ever let go of each other. You hear me? Don't ever give up on each other, no matter what comes your way."

They smiled then, through the tears.

"We wont, Sora." Said Tai.

The got up, and with one last glance at Matt, and the girl in the bed, they left the room.

********

_You'll always be the one that fills my head,_

_You'll always be the one I know _

_I'll never forget._

_********_

Matt took Sora's hand. Leaning over, he kissed her gently on the forehead.

"I love you Matt. I always have, I always will."

"Sora, I…"

"If I lived to be a hundred years old, I would still love you. You're my knight, my champion."

"Don't say it."

********

It's no use looking back or wondering, 

_Because love is a strange and funny thing._

********

The tears started to pour down his face.

"I'm not strong. If I had been, I would have asked you out sooner… I would have told you how much I love you. You're the only source of light in my life, Sora. I cant live without you."

"Matt…"

"No. Don't say goodbye. Please."

********

_No matter how I try and try_

_I just can't say goodbye._

********

He kissed her gently on the lips.

"I love you, Sora Takenouchi."

"What's it like outside, Matt?"

"It's evening, at sunset. The leaves are on the ground, golden. You love this time of year. The trees are just starting to bloom again."

"I love you, Matt."

She closed her eyes, and her hand went limp in his.

"Sora…?"

He looked down at her still, beautiful features, and his body was racked with sobs. 

As the sun went down, the room darkened around the two figures, one of whom clutched the others lifeless hand in his palm, as if he was trying to pour his own life into her.

His body shook, as the darkness closed in around him.

********

_I never had a dream come true,_

_Till the day that I found you,_

_Even though I pretend that I've moved on,_

_You'll always be my baby._

_I never found the words to say,_

_You're the one I think about each day,_

_And I know no matter where life takes me to,_

_A part of me will always be…_

_********_

"I love you, Sora."

********

A _part of me, will always be…_

_ With you._

********

=============================================================

(A/N)

Hey everybody. Just a short note this time. The fic isn't over yet, so don't stop reading. 

Firstly, I'm sorry to anyone who has lost anyone to this terrible disease. 

'I mourn with thee.'

Secondly, my apologies to anyone who has been offended by this fic. It honestly wasn't intentional.

-Ben Myatt. 14.02.2002


	8. Angels

Disclaimer: the song belongs to the almighty Robbie Williams. Buy his CD, and you'll see why I used it.

Chapter 8:

Angels.

********

"Sora? It's me again. I've come by to see you.

It's raining again, falling over the edge of my umbrella. Falling on the stone that lies at your head. On the earth that covers your body. But I know your not there anymore. I know that the part of you that I loved still lives on; wherever it is that the soul goes. Your still here, right next to me.

I don't know how I'm doing this. Living from day to day, living a life.

Without you here with me.

I loved… I love you so much. Even though I don't know where you are. I wanted to be with you so much, but we had so little time together. But it was enough. I wouldn't change it now, not for anything. 

Maybe there's still a chance that we can be together. Maybe we already are, in some alternate reality. But here…

I miss you so much. 

How can everything continue as normal? How can people go about there business as if nothing has happened? How can they do anything, when your gone?

I've hardly slept since you went. My mind just seems filled with all the possibilities.

With all the things we never had.

But then I realise that your still with me, and suddenly, it doesn't seem so bad. Because even though your gone, your not… do you see what I mean?

I'm crying again now. The tears are running down my face, mingling with the rain. Everything seems like it's in a monochrome. There's no colour without you.

What do I do now?

How can I go on without you?

There are so many things that we never got to do. So many things we wanted to.

I found our high school yearbook yesterday. And as I leafed through the pages, I realised that I didn't have any photos of you. No physical way of remembering how you looked. And then there you were.

A picture of you and Mimi, taken on our prom night. You were there.

Smiling,

Laughing,

Beautiful.

It felt like someone had stabbed me, right in the heart. It ached. It ached for you. All I wanted was one more opportunity to hold your hand, to kiss your lips. To tell you that I loved you. 

But I didn't need to. I knew that you already know. 

My Sora.

My angel.

I know that you're watching me. Don't worry. I wont do anything stupid. One day, I'll meet you again. But until then, spread your wings, and keep our love like a jewel. Place it in your heart like a box, seal it tight.

I'll be with you soon enough.

I love you, my angel."

The tears ran down Matt's face as he finished. And he stood, dusting some of the dirt from the knees of his old, worn jeans. He turned away from the grave, and, on impulse, folded his umbrella away. He looked up at the grey sky, just as a sliver of sunlight cut through the clouds. He smiled. 

Maybe that was her response. Maybe it was nothing at all. He knew which he believed.

"You coming?" Tai called out to him.

Matt looked down from the sky, the smile still on his face. Tai and Jun waited there for him. He nodded, and walked across the graveyard to them. He paused at the gates, and looked back at the grave.

A spray of flowers lay there, daffodils, roses, lily's. all the flowers of spring. The tears dripped form his face, as he whispered.

"Happy birthday, my love."

Then he walked out of the gates, and followed Tai and Jun to the car.

********

_I sit and wait._

_Does an angel contemplate my fate?_

_And do they know,_

_The places that we go, _

_When we're grey and old?_

_'cos I have been told,_

_that salvation lets their wings unfold._

_So when I'm lying in my bed,_

_Thoughts running through my head,_

_And I feel that love is dead,_

_I'm loving angels instead._

_And through it all,_

_She offers me protection,_

_A lot of love and affection,_

_Whether I'm right or wrong._

_Down the waterfall,_

_Wherever it may take me,_

_I know that life won't break me, _

_When I come to call._

_She won't forsake me._

_I'm loving angels instead._

_When I'm feeling weak,_

_And my brain walks down a one-way street,_

_I look above, _

_And I know I'll always be blessed with love._

_And as the feeling grows, _

_She breathes flesh to my bones,_

_And when love is dead,_

_I'm loving angels instead._

_And through it all,_

_She offers me protection,_

_A lot of love and affection,_

_Whether I'm right or wrong._

_Down the waterfall,_

_Wherever it may take me,_

_I know that life won't break me, _

_When I come to call._

_She won't forsake me._

_I'm loving angels instead._

_And through it all,_

_She offers me protection,_

_A lot of love and affection,_

_Whether I'm right or wrong._

_Down the waterfall,_

_Wherever it may take me,_

_I know that life won't break me, _

_When I come to call._

_She won't forsake me._

_I'm loving angels instead._

********

"Thank you, Matt." Sora replied.

********

THE END.

=============================================================

(A/N)

Thanks 2 everyone who supported me on this one. I know it was miserable, but I set out to write something sad, and that's what I did. 

Special shout-outs to Fuchan and Avalon Merquise, both of who have threatened me with GBH at various times over the writings of my fics.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. It's always nice to be appreciated.

-Ben Myatt.


End file.
